1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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