Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
