Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Panties = found
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