Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I smell stomach acid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
