we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
