How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
