it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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