It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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