i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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