Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
