2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
