I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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