"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
