can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
