Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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