why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
