So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
