Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
