haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
