you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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