I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
