Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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