My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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