Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
