dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
