Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
