She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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