loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My pussy is not your playground.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Oh god it's open bar.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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