i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Houston, we have a squirter
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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