you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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