I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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