He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
