YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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