she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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