Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
