Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
