is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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