Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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