the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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