at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
