ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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