if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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