butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
