My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
