Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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