I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
