I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
