Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
