the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This house was built for laser tag.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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