Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
