someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
