Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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