Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
